When Life Just Hit Hard - 5 Things I'm Still Learning

Yes, indeed.

2025 has not ended yet; in fact, it's only halfway through. As I keep trying to inhale the positive and exhale the negative thoughts and emotions, I find myself lacking strength and feeling like just a shell. I'm starting to get used to an underlying sense of hopelessness and worry, even when I can still find some nuggets of joy and laughter throughout the day.

2025 hit hard. It started like a blooming spring, a time when flower bulbs grow and the air starts to smell fresh, sweet, and breezy. I launched several hopeful and planned efforts to achieve some of my life milestones. But it seemed like spring lasted a very short while this year. One by one, life hit me hard with undesirable news and outcomes. Tears, sorrow, and exhaustion started to creep slowly but surely into my spirit.

Halfway through 2025, I can safely say that it's one of the hardest years so far. Despite not making it through the year yet, here are some things that I am learning the hard way this year:

1. Our Best Efforts Do Not Guarantee Desirable Outcomes

   I've always had more of a 'Type A' personality, in which I tend to anticipate undesirable outcomes and navigate through them by creating plans and backup plans. Along with those plans, of course, I would also put in 101% of my efforts to make that happen. Before this year, most of this system that I've applied so many times in life worked for me. However, this year, it's easy to say that it failed me hard.

I've learned the hard way that sometimes, life just has a plan of its own, even when we've done the absolute best to have it our way.

2. Accept Not Knowing What's Next

   Making life plans has always been a comfort zone for me. It feels like a comfy, thick duvet that warms up the dark night. When life goes as planned, we have more knowledge of what's coming next. However, when no plans work, I have had to learn how to surrender to God and let life turn out how it will. This sounds easier said than done, but I hope I'm getting better at it every day.

   

3. Express Emotions in a Healthy Way

   During this period, I sometimes find myself frowning, feeling sad, or bored around my loved ones. For a while, they would understand, but after some time, I realized that it's unhealthy to unintentionally bring others down with me too often. Therefore, I started keeping two journals with me at all times—well, almost all the time—a gratitude journal and a complaining journal. Every day, when I find things to be grateful for, I quickly jot them down. Then, when I feel sad or down, I can recheck what I've written.

Over time, I've come to realize that there is always something to be grateful for, no matter how small.

When I feel like venting or complaining, I write in the complaining journal. Even if I'm going through a tough day and need to write the same things over and over again, that's what I do.

4. A Solid Support System Keeps My Head Above Water

   I've never felt the power of having a support system on my sanity as much as I do now. Picturing going through this year by myself is a horror. I'm not one to have many friends around me, but those that stick around, really stick. That's something I'm eternally grateful for—low-maintenance friendships that run deep. Other than friends, I am utterly blessed with two of the best parents I could ever ask for. They hold my hand, show me what unconditional love is, pray for me, and teach me that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Having a solid support system is monumental when going through a difficult year. This reinforces me to keep building a solid support system, even when things are going well, as one day, that could be the only thing that helps keep my head above water.

   

   Friends and Family? Yes, please!

5. Do More of What Brings Joy

   I believe each of us has a list of things that bring us joy. Going through something tough is the perfect time to start going through that list to cheer up, even in a seemingly small way. For me, being able to read a book while sipping a good coffee is part of my routine that brings joy to my life, no matter what's happening around me. Going to a reformer pilates class brings me calm. Writing this blog gives me a productive outlet. Buying a watercolour kit brings me excitement in learning new things.

The bottom line is, however big or small, find ways to smile.

Coffee? Everyday...

Implementing what I'm currently learning is not always easy... But it keeps the hope and joy alive inside of me, despite still going through an unpredictable and difficult year. Hope that helps!